5 February - 11 February

Thought I'd do Mother Nature a little favor and leave my car at home and run to/from work, and the bitch repaid me by upping the wind, decreasing the temp, and dumping a ton of rain on me...both ways. On top of that, I finally made it home only to discover that I left my bedroom window open all day and my bed, blankets, stuffed giraffe (don't judge), everything was soaked from the rain [insert inappropriate joke about sleeping in the wet spot here]. Half a day later and I'm still freezing cold. 

Almost makes me wish Einstein had a bigger environmental footprint, just to pay her back a little.

Anyway, I was a bit lazy this week. I had hoped to increase by 3 - 4 miles over last week, but instead I skipped my long run and came up about 8 miles short of what I did last week.  That's not including the 1.5 mile, adrenaline fueled sprint through the city trying to catch a kid who AWOL'ed from the group home I work at, or the 20 feet I ran across the restaurant the other day to get to my pancakes quicker.  Overall, I'm feeling in better shape than I had thought I was, but I'm not gonna make any improvements if I keep skipping long runs.  Trying to finish this 50k without killing myself (or catching pneumonia)is by far the most outlandish thing I've ever done to try to impress a dude. 

An Open Letter to the Fastest Jogger at the Park

This has been going around the hash forums for awhile, but I didn't bother to read it until today.  Golden Gate Park is full of douches like this.

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/an-open-letter-to-the-fastest-jogger-at-the-park

One More Reason to Wish You Were Me

This is my plan for my birthday this year, which is not until September so don't worry, you have plenty of time to get my present in the mail. Thinking of tacking on a day or two for other as-yet-to-be-named adventures, or possibly a stop in Yosemite for a few days of Yosemiteness.  Haven't had an adventure in ages, and I'm feeling it.  Climbing the walls, brain all muddled with ridiculous 1st world problems. Could really use a few nights in a tent with some big trees and a fire and a 12 pack of PBR.

Sat - drive to Flagstaff.

Sun AM - hike Humphreys Peak

Sun PM - drive to/camp at Hualapai Hilltop trailhead

Mon, Tues, Wed - explore Havasu Canyon, all the way to the Colorado.

Wed - Head to Springdale, UT. Through Vegas, hitting the Double Down Saloon and Dino's. Dinner at the Flying Monkey.

Thurs - Zion Subway

Fri - Bryce Canyon Under the Rim Trail

Sat, Sun - Moab

I'm doing this.  The 50k - my first one.  Stop laughing.  I really am.  Been training and everything.

http://www.iceagetrail50.com/site/

One is the Loneliest Number...

...because there is nothing outside of it.

If you add up everything with everything else, all of whatever exists in all of existence, it's 1.  The sum of everything.

When we want to explain that something is smaller, we uses pieces, or decimals, to describe it.  Add them all up, and it's always 1.

So the bigger a number seems, the smaller a thing gets.

I think about this when I am in a million pieces, as I am now.  They will all fit back together, and I will be 1.

Tell Them I Walk Off Into the Woods to Sing.

Your poem for the day.  As always, reprinted without permission.

"Tell them I'm struggling to sing with angels who hint at it in
black words printed on old paper gold edged by time.
Tell them I wrestle the mirror every morning.
Tell them I sit here invisible in space, nose running, coffee cold,
& bitter.
Tell them I tell them everything and everything is never enough.
Tell them I'm davening & voices rise up from within to startle children.
Tell them I walk off into the woods to sing.
Tell them I sing loudest next to waterfalls.
Tell them the books get fewer, words go deeper, some take months to get through.
Tell them there are months when it's all perfect; above
'n' below, it's perfect, even in moments in between where
Sparks in space (terrible, beautiful sparks in space)
are merely metaphors for the void between
one pore and another."
~D.M.

Who Knew?

Hey, look!  I have a blog!

Went swimming at Aquatic Park yesterday, despite the crazy behavior of the Harbor Seals recently.  It was awesome.  I love aquatic park.  Did 2.5 laps around the buoys.

No wetsuit, cause I ain't a wimp.  :)

Funky

I'm in such a funk lately.  It includes my running (or lack of, I should say), and pretty much everything else in my life. 

I'm having a total pity party, which sucks, but whatever.  It's my blog and I can whine if I want. 

Way back in the beginning of August, my brother and some buddies came to town, and we all (all but 1, anyway) hauled our asses up to the top of Mt. Whitney.  I finished right in the middle, and the trip up and back took me 15 hours.  Which isn't too bad, since they all live at some crazy high altitude in Colorado, and I live at an altitude of maybe 2 feet above sea level, and that's being generous because I'm tall.

 Having a few pre-hike beers at the local saloon.  Not the best idea, considering we were setting off at 3:30 a.m., but it's not the dumbest thing I've ever done, either.

 I was a little sleepy, but not quite ready to sacrifice my PBR.  Had I known about the 99 switchbacks at this time, I would've chugged the beer and put my tired ass to bed as soon as possible.

This is where I decided that the chance of giardia was nothing compared to definite dehydration, and refilled my camelbak.  3 times.  The hike was a total of 22 or 23 miles (something like that), and since it was my first 14er I had no idea what to expect and just brought fuel/water as if I were doing a marathon.  Silly, silly me.  I needed so much more than I had. 

Anyway, it was beautiful.  Maybe the 2nd most beautiful hike I've ever done.  The drive there was beautiful, the cute little mountain towns were awesome, it was a super great time.  Wish I had people in my life out here that took advantage of the Bay Area's amazing landscape so I could do more hiking and camping with others.  I'd love to do this trip again.

Ginny Weasley Can Kiss My Ass

Jessica Potter has a much nicer ring to it than Ginny Potter.

Weekly Totals

From July 10th - 16th.  I'm a little behind in my posting.

Run:  31
Swim: 1.33
ike:  27
Hike: 0

Oops - that "ike" is supposed to be "Bike," and not hours spent watching The Ike and Tina Turner Story on Lifetime*.  (have you guys seen that flick?  Angela Bassett is HOT!  I'd kill for those arms!)  

*actual hours spent watching The Ike and Tina movie, which for some reason has been showing repeatedly on some crap channel: approx. 4.2.  Hey, don't judge me!

I'm Thinking A Lot About Bicycles Lately.

Bicycles are such a great metaphor for life.  They're all about balance and trust.  I'm pretty good with the trust part.  The balance part is always a work in progress. 

I've been invited to take part in a bike trip across America.  I'm considering it.  My holdups are fear about whether I can actually complete such a journey, and worries about the whole financial piece of it.  Not only would I not be working for awhile, which means zero income, but I would also need to drop a butt load of my hard earned cash on a ton of gear.  I could do it, but it would be a stretch...hmmm...what do you guys think?  Imagine what amazing things we could all do if money wasn't such a huge part of our survival.

Anyway, enough about all that.  Here's your poem of the day.  It's about bicycles, of course. 

BICYCLES
Nikki Giovanni, thank you for writing and sharing this (and not suing me for reprinting it without permission). 

Midnight poems are bicycles
Taking us on safer journeys
Than jets
Quicker journeys
Than walking
But never as beautiful
A journey
As my back
Touching you under the quilt

Midnight poems
Sing a sweet song
Saying everything
Is all right

Everything
Is
Here for us
I reach out
To catch the laughter

The dog thinks
I need a kiss

Bicycles move
With the flow
Of the earth
Like a cloud
So quiet
In the October sky
Like licking ice cream
From a cone
Like knowing you
Will always
Be there

All day long I wait
For the sunset

The first star
The moon rise

I move
To a midnight
Poem
Called
You
Propping
Against
The dangers

I went running TWICE yesterday.  Just filled out the forms to officially change my middle name to AWESOME.

Grossness

I keep smelling mayonnaise.  There is an incredibly strong mayo stench in my apartment.

It's making me wanna puke.

I hate mayonnaise.  More than anything.  More than when I forget to charge my cell.  More than Katy Perry.  More than that ridiculous video of the dog saying "I LOVE YOU."  MORE THAN RUNNING UPHILL, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

There has NEVER been mayonnaise in my apartment.  EVER.

WHERE IS IT COMING FROM?!?

RUN

Great run today.  I was Kara Freaking Goucher out there.

Only without the abs.  Or speed.  Or cool sponsorships.  And thank G.O.D. it was without the baby stroller.

Time to reward myself with a nice, cold, cheap yellow beer.

Ha!

Going through some stuff on my old blog before it vanishes to wherever blogs vanish to when they're deleted.  Came across this little gem from my time spent teaching in Korea.

Today Kind Of Ate Me Alive

Tennis

Running buddy and I snagged some super cool rackets (I named mine Optimus Prime) and went to some park in a somewhat questionable part of town to play a few games.

I don't wanna brag or anything, but I WON A GAME! out of the 4 that we played.  I AM AWESOME! but not at tennis.  I ROCK! at air guitar.

It was pretty fun running around like a lunatic for awhile, especially when we decided to play with 2 balls at once.  That whole crazy scoring system, though...that's gotta change.

love

Your poem for today:

The Prison Cell

It is possible...
It is possible at least sometimes...
It is possible especially now
To ride a horse
Inside a prison cell
And run away...

It is possible for prison walls
To disappear,
For the cell to become a distant land
Without frontiers:

What did you do with the walls?
I gave them back to the rocks.
And what did you do with the ceiling?
I turned it into a saddle.
And your chain?
I turned it into a pencil.

The prison guard got angry.
He put an end to the dialogue.
He said he didn't care for poetry,
And bolted the door of my cell.

He came back to see me
In the morning.
He shouted at me:

Where did all this water come from?
I brought it from the Nile.
And the trees?
From the orchards of Damascus.
And the music?
From my heartbeat.

The prison guard got mad.
He put an end to my dialogue.
He said he didn't like my poetry,
And bolted the door of my cell.
But he returned in the evening:

Where did this moon come from?
From the nights of Baghdad.
And the wine?
From the vineyards of Algiers.
And this freedom?
From the chain you tied me with last night.

The prison guard grew so sad...
He begged me to give him back
His freedom.

— Mahmoud Darwish (1941-2008)
Translated by Ben Bennani

Stupid Blogger

I did an amazing amount of shit talking in the comments of my brother's crappy blog, and NONE OF THEM ARE SHOWING UP! 

DAMN YOU, BLOGGER!

New Sport

Running Buddy and I are off to play some tennis today.  Neither of us has ever played tennis before.  In fact, we have to stop somewhere on the way to buy the necessary gear. 

Should be interesting, to say the least.

Think if I sprint around enough, I can count it as a speed workout?

Only one of those pictures is an actual giraffe, but I'm not telling which one.

Hmmm...

I've left quite a few comments on random blogs here and there, and I'm noticing that none of them are showing up.

Either the entire world hates me and is deleting them as soon as I post, or something's wrong...

Suggestions?

Living Wall

For some reason this summer I'm having a really hard time getting my outdoor garden up and running.  Not sure what I'm doing wrong, but with the exception of 2 tomato plants and a little bit of lettuce, everything I plant has withered up.  Like, overnight.  Bummer, I know.  Living alone, I don't really need to grow as much as I was trying to but I miss the meditative state that an afternoon of gardening would put me in.  And, being underemployed in a new city with almost no friends, I really need some constructive ways to fill my time. 

Since the outdoor gardening thing wasn't working, I recently made one of these in my kitchen.  I love it!  It's about 5 ft wide by 4 ft tall.  Figuring out the hydration system has been the toughest part - I'm still tweaking it a bit.  Also, I thought it would be fun to try some hydroponic stuff in the reservoir (think lettuce and strawberries, not pot) but despite TONS of research on the webz and feeling pretty confident that I did everything right, nothing grew.  It's not that they died (though some of the plants on the actual wall haven't made it), they just didn't do anything.  Just stayed in their little seedling state forever, until they got a little slimy in the water and I became worried about the safety of eating them (salmonella is a big concern with hydroponics), so I scrapped them.  Still debating whether to try again.

Patrick Blanc is the man when it comes to living walls.  He did the Cal Academy of Sciences, The Drew School, and a zillion other amazing walls all over the world.  If you're digging the concept or looking to waste a bit of time online, google him.

Here's some pics of other walls - I'll try to take/post some of my own soon!

 

Poetry

I love it.  I love, love, love it.

MORNING

I've got to tell you
how I love you always
I think of it on grey
mornings with death

in my mouth the tea
is never hot enough
then and the cigarette
dry the maroon robe

chills me I need you
and look out the window
at the noiseless snow

At night on the dock
the buses glow like
clouds and I am lonely
thinking of flutes

I miss you always
when I go to the beach
the sand is wet with
tears that seem mine

although I never weep
and hold you in my
heart with a very real
humor you'd be proud of

the parking lot is
crowded and I stand
rattling my keys the car
is empty as a bicycle

what are you doing now
where did you eat your
lunch and were there
lots of anchovies it

is difficult to think
of you without me in
the sentence you depress
me when you are alone

Last night the stars
were numerous and today
snow is their calling
card I'll not be cordial

there is nothing that
distracts me music is
only a crossword puzzle
do you know how it is

when you are the only
passenger if there is a
place further from me
I beg you do not go 

by:  Frank O'Hara

Aquatic Park

Time spent swimming:  A bit more than half an hour.
Time spent looking for parking:  27 minutes, cut short only because I decided to park illegally.

Stupid SF.

Panic

TONIGHT!  Fox Theater!  Woo Hoo!

Weekly Totals

Run:  12
Swim:  .75
Bike:  0
Hike:  0

Ridiculously lame week, mostly due to the 4th of July weekend, which was spent on a lovely boat on a lovely lake with lovely people.  Hard to log a lot of miles when you're throwing back beers on a boat.  I only ran 3 days this week.  Hopefully this upcoming week will more than double my activity levels. 

Starting to swim at Aquatic Park has been awesome, though!  Now if only I could learn to swim in a straight line! 

Western States 100

...Also known as:  You guys go ahead and run 100 miles.  I'll hang out here and drink beer.

My brother JT and I took a road trip to Tahoe City to help crew a buddy who had won a spot in the Western States lottery.  Hard to believe anyone would consider running 100 miles to be winning anything, but hey, whatev.  I had never crewed/witnessed an entire ultra before, so I was pretty excited to be part of it.  Most of crewing, unless you're pacing, involves sitting around at an aid station waiting for your runner to come in so if you ever find yourself in this position take my advice and be sure you're stocked up with plenty of beer, and maybe a book and/or fully charged iPod. 

 The race starts at Squaw Valley, and finishes in Auburn, which are two parts of CA I had never been to before.  The interwebz told me it would be about a 3 - 4 hour drive.  Thanks to me needing to stop at every brewpub on the way, and JT needing to stop at every In N Out, it took us a mere 11 hours to make the trip.

 The race started at 5:00 a.m., which means we were up at 3:30.  It's definitely easier to stay awake until 3:30 than it is to actually drag your ass out of bed at 3:30, even if that ass is smooshed into a hotel room with a bunch of other stinky runners.  After the check in and start, we headed to the aid station at mile 55 to wait for our runner.  The highlight (for me) was seeing Kilian Jornet, who is actually my boyfriend.  Sort of.  I mean, he's definitely my boyfriend in my mind.  I just have to figure out a way to meet him and let him in on this little secret.  I'm sure he'll be thrilled.

 John C. finished, with some pacing help from my bro and his buddy Dave.  Watching people cross the finish after running 100 miles was pretty awesome and inspiring.  Not "I wanna run 100 miles" inspiring, but it has been a little easier getting out the door for my few mile jaunts since then.

I'll put some shit up soon.  In the meantime, say something nice.

The Sausalito Debacle

Yesterday, I jogged/walked/shuffled/at one point just gave up and sprawled out flat on my back on the ground through Sausalito. Sausalito is incredibly beautiful, but hot damn if that place isn't one fucking hill after another! I'll spare you the gory details, but it wasn't a good run for me. I doubt it was very pretty for anyone who witnessed any of it, either.

In my defense, I hadn't planned on going running. I had sent a text to my running buddy to see if he wanted to run, and when I didn't hear back from him within .03 seconds, I figured I was in the clear. So, I ate lunch. Enough lunch for 6 people. And had some beer. And then the MF'er confirms that he does, indeed, want to run. In 30 minutes.

In hindsight, I should've said no. But instead, I was all, "Better make it 45, cause I gotta finish my beer first!" I'm a moron.

We decided on Sausalito. Actually, I think I pushed for Sausalito because I knew the drive over there would buy me some time.
What I said: "We can run along the waterfront! It'll be so beautiful...the sun will be shining, the birds will be chirping, there will be double rainbows and unicorns around every corner. We should totally drive over there!"
What I meant: "If you don't give me the 25 minutes rest it will take us to drive over there (oh God, please let there be traffic) I guarantee I will puke all over you before the 1st mile mark."

I am an excellent negotiator. We headed to Sausalito.

So, we hopped in Einstein, and while he chatted on about whatever he had done over the past few days since I had seen him last, I sat silently in the passenger seat, begging and pleading with my digestive system to hurry the fuck up, and also kindly requesting my body to overlook the fact that I hadn't had a sip of anything non-alcoholic in about 3 days.

I am ALWAYS a slow runner, but man oh man did I ever take slowness to a new level. I did manage not to puke, but only because at one point, while running up a never ending staircase, I stopped, layed (laid? I'll never get that right) down on one of the steps, and declared that this running nonsense could get fucked, from now on my hobby of choice would be napping in the sun.

I did, eventually, make it back to the car. I was a sweaty, red-faced, rapid heart beating, partly bent over, gasping for breath mess. My running buddy was all, "Hey! Great warm up! You ready to run now?"

I am an excellent negotiator. We walked to the nearest bar.

MUIR

This is also from my old blog.  Muir is still a place of worship for me.

Headed over to Muir Woods to get a long run in (6 miles! Can I get some love, please?!?) and say goodbye to the trees before I left for my adventure. Hard to explain how much this place means to me. For most of 2008 things were not so great for me - so difficult I even told my parents about it! I even called Canada!! My health was at its worst point ever and the doctors were out of options, advising me to swallow a ton of pain meds (I didn't) and just let it "run its course" (it has, and thankfully it chose the better path to take). Being told to let my illness "run its course" brought on an awful mix of emotions, as many people do not survive an illness like mine. I was far away from true friends and family and after being overseas for years I didn't know where I stood in their lives, I was still adjusting to being back in America, and the people I had out here who should have supported me were either unable or unwilling to do so. Other issues in my personal life paled in comparison to my health, but didn't make matters any easier. Somehow, when I really seriously needed a little space of my own to unravel in, the Universe sent me to Muir and it immediately became my place of healing and refuge. I have hiked, ran, and cried my way through some of these trails so often I feel like I could get through them blindfolded. Many of the rangers here greet me by name.

While I wouldn't say I've met too many quality people here, the ones I met on these trails were awesome. One particularly rough afternoon I wandered for hours, and when I was convinced I was deep enough into the woods that I wouldn't see another person, I sat down next to a beautiful redwood that had to be hundreds of years old and I just let loose and cried and cried and cried. All of a sudden there was a woman, maybe in her upper 50s, low 60s, and she just sat down next to me. Never said a word, just sat with me while I cried. Having her unspoken permission to cry was exactly what I needed, and I let shit out that day that would probably still be buried deep inside if she hadn't shown up. When I was finally all cried out, she just handed me a tissue and got up and wandered down the trail, and I thought, ""I've been blowing my nose on my sleeves for hours and you've had tissues this whole time?!? WTF, lady?!?"My time in SF is coming to an end - for the time being, at least. It's such a big world and the time has come for me to get out there and experience a little more of it. I hope wherever I end up I'm blessed enough to find a place that will nurture me and keep me safe in my darkest hours, just like these trees did. I will miss these woods more than any person I've met here. I hope all you guys are lucky enough to have your own Muir, too, and I hope you visit it often.

Warning: boring running post ahead.

Not as boring as Brownie's, of course, but still pretty dull.

Did about 4.5 miles today, at a sloooow pace. I'm always at a slow pace, because even my fast pace is slow. I felt pretty good except for the nasty blisters I have on both my feet. Those stupid boots I wore the other day were not made for walking!

That's all I got. I don't have a fancy schmancy Garmin (but I want one soooooo bad) so I can't give you all the juicy details like heart rate, pace, mile splits, etc. I know, I know - how will you possibly sleep tonight?

Later I'm going to my first yoga class ever. While I can totally see the benefits of being able to put my legs behind my head, I'm just not sure if I can really get into a yoga class.

SF ZOO

I gotta admit, zoos make me a little frisky, too. :-)

I love zoos, even though I know it's not PC to love zoos anymore because we're supposed to want all the animals to be free and roaming around in the wild. Whatever. On my list of "PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME ROLL MY EYES," those who boycott zoos on the grounds that they aren't fair to the animals are right up there with vegetarians who wear leather.

The other night I had this crazy dream where I met the Dalai Lama. Most of you would probably have something profound to say, or an important, intelligent question to ask him. But, in my dream, I put on a Bangles album and taught him how to walk like an Egyptian.

Look that one up in your dream dictionary!

If I ever own a llama I'm totally naming it Dalai. HAHAHA!

Overheard...

The little girl next to me at the diner wants french toast. Her dad said something stupid and adult-ish to her, like telling her she should get something smaller cause she didn't finish her dinner last night. Adult logic is so ridiculous. So the girl yelled, "THAT'S BECAUSE I LOOOVE EATING FRENCH TOAST, BUT I HATE EATING REGULAR STUFF LIKE VEGETABLES!!"

Me too, kid. Me too. :)

READ SOMETHING

And now, for your reading enjoyment, 25 books that you all MUST read!! They are in no particular order (A Prayer For Owen Meany, which Ant is reading now, is my favoritest of my favorites), they are just the first 25 books that came to mind when I thought about books I love, love, love. I highly recommend you check them all out, and don't say I never gave you mofos anything!

1. Pride and Prejudice

2. A Prayer For Owen Meany

3. A Confederacy of Dunces

4. Nineteen Eighty Four

5. Catcher in the Rye

6. Everything is Illuminated

7. A Thousand Splendid Suns

8. The Great Gatsby

9. Anne of Green Gables

10. Lolita

11. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes

12. The Five People You Meet in Heaven

13. Horton Hears a Who

14. The Blind Assassin

15. Between a Rock and a Hard Place

16. A Passage to India

17. The Watchmen

18. Goodnight Moon

19. Vernon God Little

20. What is the What

21. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius

22. Villa Incognito

23. Brokeback Mountain (No, watching the movie doesn't count)

24. Me Talk Pretty One Day (actually, any David Sedaris book will do)

25. Aquariums of Pyongyang